Welp, hopefully my last update on this thread and it can go away, lessons learned lol
My backups server was super screwed with runaway storage use. I think it's because V12 rolls out full new backups to replace the old ones since it uses a different system, so you essentially end up with 2 full backups until your old batch gets removed - not good for me with 3TB of data and only 4TB storage. My guess anyways, idk because while I've read all the threads on the backups saga - it seems many ppl had many different issues. For me the conversion @xyzulu posted was a great fix - got all the old backups cleared out so the new ones could roll out. That drive is now formatted for ext4 too, so should be good and stable long term. It was interesting watching servers pump out new backups at 700Mbps for hours, enormous load (10-20), luckily it only lasted a few hours to finish - everything looking good now.
I switched back over to ELS. It switched over flawlessly - just had to update latest version of ELS in the settings panel, and reset our config, it's rocking and rolling good now.
Some weird quirks, like can't see backups info in websites backups tab, like the size info - guessing that's gonna be fixed in a update soon, like the issue of logs.
Only user reported issue was connecting to FTP. I remembered someone mentioned something about ftp accounts needing to be assigned to the public_html folder now? I tried reassigning it to that folder, still wouldn't finish connecting all the way. I just gave the user their ssh login for now, which works fine.
The issue of my panel showing no databases for some users went away too, didn't even restart anything. Maybe it just needed time to settle, give me one last bit of anxiety 🤯
Thank you everyone that stuck with me during the issue with encouragement and ideas, really appreciate that. You all know how it is when a server goes down, end of the world. I hope if someone upgrading runs into my issue maybe this thread will help them, good lesson to keep your apt repos clean.
I've got 1 more cluster to update, feeling real confident it will go off without a hitch lol 💪